Time: 2 minutes per day, every day you are together.
Lovers sit facing each other. For one minute, the first partner sends a look of love, using only the face and eyes to send the love, but not speaking any words. Later in the day or evening, the other lover sends a look of love in this same way. The partner receiving the look also remains silent.
Notes and Comments
This can be quite emotionally uncomfortable for some people, but we assure you that it becomes easy. In fact it becomes so profoundly moving, that you will become addicted to this simple exchange of love. This is a situation in which we encourage you to persist with the practice in spite of any emotional discomfort. Act to support what you want to create instead of acting to return to your emotional comfort zone as quickly as possible.
This eye gazing can result in a profoundly moving experience of emotional, energetic and spiritual connection between the lovers, especially if you are already at a peak of sexxual arousal during lovemaking when you do it. However, don’t save this practice only as an accompaniment to lovemaking.
Take 2 minutes to send and receive love in this way every day you are together for the rest of your lives.
Some couples go weeks or months at a time without making this simple, yet profound connection. Making this connection every day cumulatively can transform your relationship and sustain you on a secure platform of love through any of life’s trials and tribulations.
We have found this simple practice to be the quickest surest and easiest way to open our hearts to feel love. Most of the times we look at each other in this way, when our hearts crack open, tears come to our eyes as the intense emotional feelings cause us to cry with happiness. Make no mistake, you don’t get your heart open once and for all and keep it that way. Your heart will close repeatedly, thus it must be re-opened over and over and over again. This simple practice will open your heart almost instantly.
How to Look
Gazing into each other’s eyes is not a staring contest. You will look in a particular way.
Have you ever been in a place with an absence of light? Near where we live there are some caves. Once inside these caves, there is a complete absence of light. Without light you can’t see anything. Just closing your eyelids can give you some sense of this experience, especially if you are in a dark room during the evening.
Close your eyes now. Now open your eyes, and notice how the light comes in. You don’t have to do anything for the light to come in. This is important to notice. Next, notice how you look at things, usually including your lover. You grab things with your eyes. Grabbing things means you isolate each thing and visually separate each thing from all other things. This is how you identify what something is. You must isolate it from everything else, and then you can name it, and when you name it you know it. You have grabbed it.
Looking with your eyes in this way is useful and necessary, but it is not the only way to look. Looking in this way actually sustains the perception (really an illusion) that everything is separate from everything else. This is dualistic consciousness. Dualism simply means separating one thing from another thing.
But there is another way to look, and that is like when you open your eyelids the light just comes in, without any effort or trying on your part. In this eye gazing exercise you will look in just this way, allowing the light to carry images into your field of vision, but you make no attempt to separate anything from anything else, and no attempt to name anything you see. Pay particular attention to the peripheral vision, not just the center of your field of vision where your lover is positioned. You don’t grab anything with your eyes; you simply allow the light to carry a single whole image into your awareness.
